Thursday, November 20, 2008

Lament to love

He took the body down
And the sky opened and closed
In time with his sorrow

He took the body down
And the fox stopped and the bear stood
Against his wall of grief

He laid the body down
and the earth peeled and stung
with all his bloody tears

He laid the body down
and the mouse hid and the ant froze
from his single scream

He buried her body down
and the goblins cursed and the dwarves hissed
to see his blackened heart

He held his body down
and ten score years would have to pass
till he saw the world again

5 comments:

masterymistery said...

like it. multitudinous meanings lurking at the corners and edges of consciousness. (Almost but not quite total) repetition is a powerful technique.

masterymistery at cosmic rapture

human being said...

oh yes that repetition is so powerful i feel i'm pinned to the ground not because i'm sad or heavy or anything like that...

i'm pinned because a kind of awareness stroke me...

'He held his body down
and ten score years would have to pass
till he saw the world again'

this is a deja vu for me...

more than beautiful... stunning...think because you've written it not by your mind but by your heart...

chook said...

Cosmic - thanks, high praise coming from you. Probably the goblins were spewed up from reading your wicked verses!

HB - in reading and writing poetry I often get a sense of awareness that I didn't know was there. I agree with 'coming from the heart'. I feel a rhythm when it comes from there which doesn't always happen coming from the mind.
When writing it often feels also that the poetry comes from outside of me. I write a verse and when I go back to it I wonder where it came from and when I try to change something in it, it won't let me. Strange!!

human being said...

oh so happy to find out i'm not the only person to feel like that...
:)

chook said...

Is it because the poetry is in the wind or is someone out there channeling us. Who knows, I'm just happy it happens