Friday, December 12, 2008

Reason (season) to be jolly. I hate this time of year when the feeding frenzy starts to buy, buy, buy, yet I get to be Santa. First at a pre school called Country Kids then at the local Playgroup. Now although I'm getting porky round the middle I don't fit the rotund bill so have to tie a pillow against my chest to fill out the santa suit. Then I try to put my socks on!!
I get to ride on a fire engine or a helicopter or a farm bike or just take my little car and startle the odd pedestrian with my long white locks blowing in the wind ( I can bring a smile to the lips to even the most hardened teenaged criminal, not that we have many!)
You probably think Santa is easy, just sit there on your decorated chair and hand out presents to the adoring kids but a lot of them are shit scared of you and you have to decide which of the gorgeous mammas you have to have sit on your knee to show the kids how it is done.
So the challenge every year is to try and get every one of the sixty odd brats to at least come forward and take the offered present. I lie on the ground with my legs in the air (it's alright this ain't Scotland!), sing badly, crow, shout, pretend I'm sunning myself in Samoa, promise playstations, even try to be meek and mild which I sure aren't. Then after three years Amelia finally overcomes her fear and she is off to school and I have to start afresh on Ryan, Anika and Jackys' mum (sigh).


Fern said...

I am not at all surprised that you are Santa.

mickey said...

ahhh, good old perverts at christmas time. and they say the spirit of the season is dead. lol. ;)

Fern said...

hey I deleted my blog....will still read yours though.


chook said...

Fern...You believe in Santa??? I'm so very sorry to lose your site, it was always a joy to press the link. Hope you can resolve the problem and I mourn the loss of all that great material. you to pick up on the perversion, I did bring joy to the kids with plastic rubbish that breaks on use as well!!